How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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