Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
