Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she smelled like a LAN party
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
