We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
