i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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