I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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