I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What happened to fro yo and sex?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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