honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize