Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
