You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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