Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
