oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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