this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize