let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Operation Purity has been aborted
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize