I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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