we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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