woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
time to smoke my breakfast
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
