You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
