he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i will never coherently bang her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
