your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
where are my eyebrows?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
