Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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