we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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