Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
