capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
