I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i dont even know how to be here
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
