At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
