turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
