do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
