woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
