Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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