Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize