Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
