You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
