Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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