she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
