I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
