it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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