I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize