What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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