We won't sleep together?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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