I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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