Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
