You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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