I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
