I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
