I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
