How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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