i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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