Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
