do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
