What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
