Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
