from now on my penis is your penis
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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