let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
