So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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