At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize