Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
